I realize that since announcing I was pregnant again I haven't spent much time discussing this current baby much (enter feelings of mom guilt). While last week was definitely a week to focus on Olive, we also had quite a few special moments this month with this baby too - one very specific one that many people keep asking me about.
To start, we had our first prenatal class (we have had other prenatal appointments, but this was the first group class we did with other couples delivering late this year). It was nice to meet everyone and begin a new journey with these parents. If I'm being honest though, it wasn't that long ago that we were just doing this - so I think that added to some of the mixed emotions we were feeling the entire month.
We also met with our OB for a consult, met our perinatologist for the ultrasound (and to discuss my advanced maternal age - which will NOT be talked about anymore on this blog - ha!) and daddy got to feel baby move for the first time! We went into our ultrasound a little hesitant, but left feeling very comfortable that everything was great. Baby is measuring ahead of schedule, just like big sister did and looks healthy and happy. I mean, c'mon...look at this peanut!
So far this pregnancy has been very similar to my pregnancy with Olive (I wasn't far enough along with Baby #2 to really have any pregnancy symptoms). I had some nausea during the first trimester, although it didn't last near as long. As far as how I'm carrying, that is pretty similar too. The only major differences are that I've battled more insomnia with this little one, and I'm not having near the cravings I did with Olive - I mean almost zero! Most of the time I am trying to figure out what sounds good, instead of making a break for a Taco Bell drive-thru at the drop of a hat!
Early on we had decided that this baby's gender would also be a surprise, but as the weeks went by I found myself getting increasingly anxious about many things. For one, I was having a hard time connecting - especially during the timeframe where I wasn't really feeling sick anymore but still hadn't felt much movement. Another big issue for me was that all of the baby items we had, in my mind, belonged to Olive. They were purchased with her in mind, but she never got to use them. Had Olive been alive we would have naturally used the same things for this baby, but since she hadn't been brought home it felt like we were going to move this baby into "her" room with "her" belongings. I knew that I needed to make some changes if I was going to be comfortable with using these items (everything had been washed, tags and boxes thrown away, and we certainly weren't going to return thousands of dollars of merchandise!).
Additionally, I found myself becoming more anxious for the birth - I really just want to go into that day with one goal in mind: deliver a breathing, crying baby. I didn't want any extra surprises in the delivery room. So, after much discussion with my husband we decided this time around we would find out the gender.
To most people this would be the end of the discussion, but for me it brought about more feelings of guilt. I knew that we had decided that we didn't want to find out with any of our babies. The fact that we were making a different decision for this child meant that we were already treating this baby different just because of his/her sister, which is something I find myself struggling with on a daily basis. I felt like I was weak - giving in - and letting my husband down. He reassured me that we cannot compare these situations - each is a completely different set of circumstances, and whether we found out in the delivery room or sooner - we were going to find out together. (Have I mentioned how much I love that guy?)
With Olive's birthday coming up we decided to include this baby in her celebration - to make it a true family affair. We had the doctor write down what the baby was and then gave it to our dear friend who was making Olive's birthday cake. Inside she would surprise us with either pink or blue so that when we cut into the cake on Olive's birthday - we would know if we were celebrating with her little brother or little sister. We both had our suspicions - and around 9:30pm on Olive's birthday we dug in.
Even though I was expecting a boy - it still has taken some getting used to (which I may get into more on another post). After letting the news sink in a for a couple of days I can tell you that we are thrilled to be welcoming Olive's little brother to our family later this year. God certainly has blessed us and we know that this little boy will fit in perfectly!
*And we welcome any name suggestions as boy names have always been difficult for us!*